Gobble Gobble GULP! - It's Family Time!

And JUST like that, Summer has given way to Fall and all its colourful splendour and the beginning of the 'Family Dinner' Holidays. The very first being Thanksgiving. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! 

This is probably the first Family event in a while for many of us. What FUN!

Family has got to be one of the biggest sources of happiness and grief at the very same darn time. How does that happen?

Our family know us well, we know them well. We did away with polite pleasantries and gave in to the 'in your face' level of communication with them years ago, pretty much about the time we started to speak actual words. Family frustrate us, yet comfort us. They infuriate us, yet provide support when we need it the most. Someone says the wrong thing, the very same wrong thing that they always say, that EVERYONE knows, except them, that they shouldn't say. Then someone says something that we have so needed to hear, our hearts melt with the 'familiarity' and love that surrounds us. 

Our family can drive us crazy one minute, and then be the thing we are most thankful for the next.

This year, let those extreme opposites just exist as they are. Life is at its best in  Balance. A Balance of Joy and Grief, Happiness and Sadness, Pulling towards and Pushing away. Whatever the scale of emotions, let the polarities exist as they are.

Where we as Humans get into trouble is when we start to control the nature of things. When we try to avoid, deny, ignore and resist. These things get us into trouble, into fights and into the wine.

Try a side of acceptance with your Turkey this weekend. Accept the way things are, and at whatever weird and wonderful way they happen to be presenting in each moment. Accept who you are, and accept  those crazy people who you are sure you are NOTHING like (oh ya, that denial thing again) and accept the dynamics that just ARE.

Acceptance is never about 'condoning' behaviour that may  be inappropriate  because god knows there is lots of that in family dynamics. Acceptance is simply a lack of judgement. And having no judgement frees you up to just 'BE' in each moment as it is without having to solve all the issues apparent all the time.

Save the world another day ~ this weekend, just accept and be most thankful for the bounty of love, craziness, support and irritation that surround you in the guise of FAMILY.

Love the opposites, and love the Balance. It truly is what makes life interesting, real and full of passion!

I mean, there IS a reason we all love the cartoon families like 'Family Guy' and ' The Simpsons' 

DoH!!

What are some of your love/hate family moments?

Turn Fear from the Master to the Slave

Have you ever been hit with that feeling? GULP!! "Oh My God, I simply cannot do this!" Or "This doesn't feel right, its not familiar, it must be wrong!"

Fear is a pretty complex emotion, because it isn't really its 'OWN' emotion. IT is a mix of all sorts of things, and sometimes we just can't figure out what the real issue is! If you find you are in fear mode a lot, it is time to take some stock and ask yourself why?


Fear happens when you are on the edge of something wonderful.


I guess fear is warranted if you are indeed on the edge of a cliff and about to fall off, BUT in our day to day lives that rarely happens. If you are feeling fear in your life when nothing truly life threatening is happening, you might want to consider that maybe some thing good is happening.


Why would we feel fear if something good is happening? Well..


It is because we are far more used to letting in negativity than we are positive into our lives.


Our world is bombarded by fear based images in the media, threats, guilt trips - worry worry worry.

We are very used to negativity, so used to it in fact that when something positive comes around, we fear it. "Is it real?" - "Can I trust this?"


When fear happens, surrender, let it go and walk right into it. You have no IDEA what might be waiting for you.


If your life isn't in danger, and the most extreme thing that happened to you today is you spilled your latte in the car on the way to work - well - fear may just be what you feel because you are on the edge of something wonderful.

So re-name it EXCITEMENT - feel the butterflies and start making it work for you!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."

~ Marianne Williamson

Just BREATHE...

Those feelings, those damn feelings that can plague our days and keep the anxiety running through everything. Why won't they just GO AWAY!

Well, they won't go away until you 'LISTEN' to them. It is no wonder we all have trouble listening to others, we rarely ever listen to ourselves!


Feelings are JUST feelings. They are energy created by the thoughts you think ~ we'll explore more on that later. But for now, lets just focus on the feelings that have you feeling like an over cooked spaghetti noodle.



The top 3:

If you are Confused

You are searching for an answer that is not ready to be realized just yet ~ Relax.

A fast paced world has no time to sit an reflect now does it? Well, too bad. If you are confused it is simply where you need to be in the moment. The BEST thing to do is relax, breathe, and trust that when you are to KNOW you will know. Forcing a decision, or an understanding makes no sense, and then causes more anxiety and then pushes you into feeling frustrated and oh yes, feeling #2 ANGRY.

If you are angry 

You are holding expectations on yourself and others that perhaps need some looking at ~ Breathe.

Anger is never about what you think it is. Expectations tend to fuel disappointments which fuel judgements which then create anger. If you feel this emotion, sit with it but ask the MOST IMPORTANT question: What am I feeling underneath this anger? Is it sadness? Is it fear? Is it abandonment? - generally anger stems from one of those and the frustration that someone else won't assist you in 'diminishing' or keeping those feelings at bay. Well, your feelings are your responsibility. BREATHE and ask yourself what is really going on.

If you are Sad

You are holding on too tightly to your heart and need to open it up to grieve and transform ~ let go.

Sadness and melancholy are powerful. Grief is a natural process when faced with any kind of emotional trauma. But if you feel sadness that just won't 'move' - then you need to look into your heart to see what it is you are holding on to so tightly. Letting go does not mean pretending the pain doesn't exist, it means accepting the pain as part of you in THIS MOMENT. Go right into it, feel its intensity and then it will move up and out and you can begin to HEAL.

The power is within to Change your mind, and change how you feel. Simply Choose again :-)

Have a Wonderful Weekend!

Is Self Worth Selfish?

Before you go out in the world today - Value yourself.

If you can't hold yourself in high esteem, how do you expect the world to?

Don't mistake that statement to mean anything to do with 'ego' and superficial confidence and bravado.

What I mean is do you value yourself? Truly? ~ Do you feel important in the world? Do you feel you make a difference in the lives of others? Do you feel like you are needed?

Ask yourself those questions, and then really listen. If there are any thoughts about being 'not good enough', or 'not where you would like to be', 'I'm nothing special' - all those statements are false, and unfortunately programmed into us at a very young age.


Contrary to popular belief, truly valuing yourself helps to make you and everyone around you happier and calmer. It is never self important, selfish or self absorbed. It is simply a very deep and peaceful knowing that you are ENOUGH just as you are. It is what real LOVE is. When another loves you purely, they love you AS you are with ALL that you are, unconditionally.


Why is it not ok to LOVE yourself? You cannot love another until you cherish yourself first.


Try it - say to yourself "I am perfect just as I am in this moment" - say that 5 times, and don't tell me you are unable to feel an inner calm start to spread through you.


To spread love and light into this world, to feel valued, adored and important. 

~ Give it to yourself first, the rest will follow quite naturally ~

BELIEVE IN YOU!

Welcome to my world!

Welcome to Kaare's Blog!

Here you can join in on the life meanderings of Kaare's mind. A small business owner ( www.acue.ca) and a Mom to two beautiful daughters, I have always adored writing.

Here I'll post my thoughts and encouragements. It will be funny, reflective, spiritual, whimsical, sometimes long winded and serious but ALWAYS the truth of where I am at.

So Enjoy!

Kaare